A Time For Everything
by magical duct tape angel
Summary: UPDATED ON April 8! Please read the 4th chapter, its redone. I didnt like how it was going. Some horrible things happen to Dee that make him relive his past. Will he lose the 2 things he loves the most, Ryo and work? READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!
1. Lost

Disclaimer: Ok people, you know the drill, here's the part where I tell you that I don't own Dee, Ryo, Olivia, or Elliot they belong to Dick Wolf and Sanami Matoh. So guess what stupid lawyers!! *sticks out tongue* YOUR NOT SUING ME TODAY OR NE DAY MOO HOO HA HA HA!!! ok i'm better, but for real, please don't sue me. 

~*~*= change of scene

**__**

**__**

**A Time For Everything**

**By Magical Duct Tape Angel**

**_Lost_**

**_Lost in the darkness of a land_**

**_Where all the hope that's offered is_**

**_Memories of being taken by the hand_**

**_And we are led into the sun_**

Dee sat alone at in the interrogation room, nervously tapping his finger tips against the table. This was the first time in a week where he had had to discuss what he preferred to call, "The Incident." It had happened in an alley way…he remembered that much. He remembered being drugged then dragged into the completely secluded area. After that though…it was hard to remember. One thing he did remember though…was the hoarse feminine voice and the excruciating pain. He could still feel her touching him, calling him names, and beating him with a baseball bat. Dee shuddered at the memories. All of them made him feel so dirty and embarrassed. He had felt this way before…but that time he had had to go through it alone, without the police knowing. This time, he had been lying in the alley bleeding to death when a little girl and her mother had found him and called the police. 

            Dee hated to think of both of those times. The first time taught him to never trust anyone; the second had taught him to watch out for women who hated gay men. He specifically remembered her saying that she was going to try and 'turn him around' and that she hated 'you people.' Despite having nearly been beaten within an inch of his life, Dee had managed not to sustain permanent damage. Sure, his right leg was almost completely shattered and his left wrist had practically been snapped in half, but other than those injuries, none of the others were permanent. He also had bruises everywhere and a cut that ran down almost the entire length of his back, some small burns from where she had put her cigarettes out on him and some other small cuts, but those would heal in no time at all. 

            Dee quickly opened the soda that he had bought on his way over here. Last night these two SVU detectives had called him and wanted to interview him. The man…Detective Stabler was his name, had told him that his department had a hunch that his rape had to do with many other rapes in the area. Evidentially this woman was going around and raping all the gay men she could find, trying to get them to 'see the light,' as she so eloquently put it. So, the SVU detectives had wanted to interview him and see what he could tell them, since he was one of the very few victims that were alive. Dee took a swig of his Coke, set it back down on the table, and began quietly drumming his fingers against the table again. 

            "God! What's taking them so fucking long? I have places to be you know." Dee said out loud. It was true, he had to run errands for Mother and she was expecting him back by 4 o'clock and it was already 3. 

Just as he was about to reach for another swig of his soda, the door opened and 2 detectives walked in; a man and a woman. The woman looked vaguely familiar. She was wearing long black pants, a light blue silk dress shirt and black heels. It took him a few minutes to realize how he knew her.

"Olivia? Is that you?" Dee asked inquisitively. 

"Dee? Hey man! How the hell are ya?" She sat down on the other side of the table and shook the hand that wasn't encased in plaster. 

"Uhh...well as you can see I've definitely been better, but I was doing ok until this happened." Dee raised his eyebrows at her. "So who's your partner, or aren't you going to introduce us?" 

"Oh sorry, Dee Laytner this is my partner Elliot." Elliot walked over to Dee and also shook his hand. 

Elliot plopped down in the chair next to Olivia. "So where do you know Olivia, Dee?"

"Oh we go waay back. We went to the Academy together." Dee smiled at the memories. "She used to help me hide from J.J." Dee smiled again.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Have you seen J.J. lately? I heard he got transfered to some slum department where he hits on one guy repeatedly."

As soon as Olivia said that, Dee just started cracking up completely.

"What?! What's so funny?" She gave him a very confused look.

"Your looking at the guy that he hits on repeatedly." He managed to choke out between fits of laughter. 

"Really?! Is he still pulling that same shit that he did in the Academy?!" Now Olivia and Dee were both cracking up and having trouble breathing.

Elliot cleared his throat at the both of them. "Guys, uhh hello, we'll have time to catch up on old times later, but for now Olivia and I need to ask you some questions Dee." Elliot said condescendingly. Olivia quickly straightened up and regained her composure. 

"Right, ok." Dee said uncomfortably. 

"So, Dee, tell us about your partner, you were at his apartment the night that it happened right?" Olivia asked him.

"Yeah, I was at Ryo's place." Dee's shoulders were visably sagging under the weight of his depression at the mention of his partners name. "We were hanging out and we had just finished eating dinner when the doorbell rang. Ryo got up to answer it and it was J.J. He had stopped by to give Ryo the files he had requested when he saw me. J.J. ran into the apartment and started grabbin' me and kissin' me and all that stuff and Ryo yelled at us both to get the hell out of his apartment if we were gonna do that stuff then he threw us out. I managed to shove J.J. off of me, and I stood outside of Ryo's apartment for a half an hour yellin' at him that it wasn't what he thought it was..." Dee sighed. "Ryo's never really trusted me. So, I got sick of makin' excuses to him and walked away, by that time J.J. was gone and I was left to walk home. I was about a quarter of the way home when I realized that I'd forgotten my gun at Ryo's, but I didn't feel like going back and gettin' it, so I figured that Ryo would bring it in the next day. The next thing I knew, I was bein' pounced on and felt a needle slide into my back, after that, the only thing I can remember is the pain, then waking up in the hospital." Dee made a quick inhalation of breath then sagged down into his chair. 

The room was quiet for several seconds before Oliva finally spoke. "So you're involved with your partner?" 

Dee gave a snort of disgust. "I wish." For a minute he looked angry, but then sadness seeped into all of his features again. "But, its only a one sided love, he's never receprocated, so I'm giving up."

Olivia quickly tossed a file onto the table that Elliot handed her. "This has happened to you before, hasn't it Dee." She said quietly. 

Dee gulped then quickly tried to find his words of denial, but couldn't find them. "Yes." He said in a whisper. 

"Who was it Dee? That did this to you the first time?" Oliva asked just as quietly as Dee grabbed the soda can hard, like it was his lifeline. 

"It was Jess's partner." He replied, not looking at anyone, instead choosing to stare down at the table. 

"And Jess was your foster father wasn't he? He was a cop that was killed on the job." Elliot said neutrally. 

Dee quickly took a gulp of soda then spoke. "Yeah, it was after the funeral...that it happened. He told me he had some pictures of Jess that I might want and to stop by his place to get them...and I did." He shuddered at the memories and buried his head in his arms on the table. 

"Have you told Ryo yet Dee?" Elliot asked. 

Dee sat up abruptly. "No!" He said in an urgent voice. "I don't want him knowin!" Dee sighed after he said this and his shoulders sagged a bit, but he remained determined. "Ryo isn't gonna hear about this. I've requested that my files be kept from him, and as far as he knows I just fell down a flight of stairs as I was comin' down from my apartment."

Olivia looked at Dee intently, then finally spoke. "Dee, I think that he would want to know about it...maybe he could help."

"I dont want his help dammit!" He said angrily. "Ryo has this habit of taking in strays and I will not be just some stray to him!" 

"Ah...I see it now." Olivia said knowingly. 

"See what?" Dee said just as angrily as before.

"You think that if he finds out about this, he'll admit his love to you, then you'll always wonder if you were just someone he took in or if he really loved you." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_FLASHBACK_

**_But I don't have a hold on what is real_**

**_Though we can only try_**

**_What is there to give or to believe?_**

**_I want it all to go away, I wan't to be alone_**

****

            Dee lay alone on cold cement. He wasn't sure where he was, but he heard dripping coming from the ceiling, so he assumed he must be in a basement or a cellar. Everything was black, he had a blindfold on. His wrists and hands were bound, and he was completely naked. He was scared, anything could happen to him with him all tied up like this. He was just beginning to think of all the things that could possibly happen to him, when a deep female voice purred to his right. "Well, your awake Mr. Laytner." 

            "That's Detective Laytner to you." He said in that smart-ass way of his. 

            "Now, now Detective Laytner, its not nice to talk to people that way, maybe I should teach you a lesson hmm?" 

            He heard footsteps coming closer and closer to him, and he began to brace himself both physically and mentally for whatever was going to happen. In now way was he prepared for the hard high-heeled kick in the stomach. Dee groaned in pain and rolled over, facing away from her. He heard her evil laugh sound from behind him, laughing at his pain. 

            "What do you want from me?" he managed to gasp out through the pain.

            "I think you know that Detective. Your gay aren't you?" 

            "For your information I'm bi." Dee said angrily. 

She gave her deep purr of a laugh again. "Same difference. Your all alike. Its my job to try and get you to like women and only women. Its my job to turn you around and get you to see the light." 

Dee was getting nervous now, he knew what was going to happen and it reminded him too much of what happened in his childhood. Through the blackness of the blindfold he could see the scene from his childhood playing through. (a/n: I know this is confusing, but its like a flashback within a flashback, think of it as like he's remembering what happened.) He was at Jess's funeral, looking down onto his closed eyes and still body. Then he was looking down into the deep dark hole that was Jess's final resting place. Jess's body was being lowered into the hole, just as soon as the first shovelful of dirt hit the lid of the coffin, a large hand clapped down onto his shoulder. Come on kid, I got some pictures of Jess at my apartment that you might want. Said the light haired man dressed in the police officer's uniform: Jess's partner. He was going back to the man's apartment. The man was looming over him. He was asking the man where the pictures were. Then the man was breathing hard into his ear behind him and there was incredible pain, like lemon juice being poured into a papercut. He was crying. The man was driving him home and threatening to kill him just like Jess had been killed if he told anyone. Would he like to join Jess? No! Was his insistent answer. He wouldn't tell Mother, he would keep quiet. What a good kid, so long as you don't tell anyone, you won't end up being worm food just like Jess. And with that he sent him off, bruised and cut and mentally injured. 

Dee could hear her behind him, putting out a cigarette on his back, he was oblivious to the pain. She had already raped him at least 3 times, maybe more, he didn't remember. All he kept seeing in his minds eye was Ryo, his sweet sensitive Ryo. He began to imagine that Ryo was bursting in through the door with back up, killing the woman and covering him up with his coat. Taking him back to his house and curing all of his pain. But Ryo didn't know he was here, he didn't care. Dee began to realize that Ryo was gone from his grasp. He wouldn't want him now…..he was contaminated. He also didn't want to expose his sweet, beautiful, innocent Ryo to this filth. 

She leaned over and purred quietly into his ear. "So Detective, have you seen the light yet?" But he was so lost in his own mind, invisioning his Ryo and his Mother saving him that he didn't even hear her. 

**_Sympathy's wasted on my hollow shell_**

**_I feel there's nothing left to fight for_**

**_No reason for a cause_**

**_And I can't hear your voice and I can't feel you near_**

He began to mutter under his breath. Words that didn't make make any sense to her. "Ryo…..Penguin….Ryo….love…..forever…." Then he began to sob and thrash and make too much noise, someone would hear. She quickly walked over to a corner of the room and picked up a piece of metal pipe and took it to the back of his head. He was unconsious as soon as the metal hit his head. She sighed, she'd have to take him out to the trash now, at least he was dead and couldn't talk like the last one she did over. She quickly untied him and grabbed his ankles and dragged him out of the cellar and put him out with the garbage bags.

All hope was gone, everything was black. Ryo and Penguin had left him. He began to cry and call out to them, but no matter how hard he called to them and tried to run to them, they wouldn't come back. He realized that Ryo had left him because he didn't really love him…He had wasted the past 2 years of his life for nothing. If Ryo didn't love him now, he never would. She must have Penguin hidden somewhere, tied up like he was, that was why Mother wasn't coming to his rescue. He began to weep uncontrollably, then there was a sharp pain in the back of his skull and all went dark. 

**_Lost in the darkness of a land _**

**_Where all the hope that's offered is _**

**_Memories of being taken by the hand_**

**_And we are led into the sun_**

**_But I don't have a hold on what is real_**

**_Though we can only try_**

**_What is there to give or to believe?_**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ryo quickly jogged up the steps into the building. He didn't understand why Rose had chosen him to run these files over to the SVU unit. Rose had said that if he looked around some, he might find something that interested him. Ryo had no idea what Rose was talking about, so decided not to let it get to him. 

He quickly made his way to the chief's office to drop off the files.When he finally reached the door to the office, he knocked quietly. 

"Come in!" a voice called from inside the office. 

Ryo opened the door and stepped in. "Detective Randy MacLean sir. I have some files for you from Commisioner Rose."

"Ah, yes, Detective MacLean, Berkley told me that you'd be by. I understand that your partner is Detective Laytner am I correct?"

"Yes, sir, but what does Dee have to do with any of this?" Ryo asked the Chief.

"He's being interviewed by 2 of my detectives concerning his rape, if you wait around for a few minutes you can see him, he should be out shortly."

"Wait, what do you mean Dee's rape? He wasn't raped, he just fell down a flight of stairs." Ryo gave the man a look that clearly stated that he was crazy. 

"No, your partner was raped, Dectective. If you want I can take you into the interragation room right now so you can see him, I don't know why you think he fell down a flight of stairs." The Chief quickly stood up and walked out of the room, with Ryo right on his heels. The older man knocked on the door of the first interragation room and opened the door to let Ryo in. 

The sight that greeted Ryo shocked him. The woman detective was crouching next to Dee's chair, in front of a pair of crutches that leaned against the wall. Dee was crying and rocking back and forth in his chair with his head in his hands. Dee's right leg was in a cast and his left wrist was also encased in plaster. He had many small cuts and what looked like burns all over every piece of exposed skin. The male detective was sitting across from Dee still trying to ask him questions. 

Ryo just stood there for a few minutes, watching his best friend and partner cry until finally he found his voice. "Dee...." He said quietly. As soon as he spoke, Dee stopped crying and sat up rigidly. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, his eyes were big and round and he was so scared that he was almost shaking. 

"Ryo....." Dee gulped. "What are you doing here?" Dee tried to sound innocent like he was just catching up with old friends, but then he realized that Ryo knew something and hung his head. "Ryo..." Dee repeated quietly, this time he said it without the fear in his voice, instead his voice was etched with sadness. "You should be at work...you should have never come here." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hahahahaha don't you just love cliffhanger endings? I'm sorry if this fic counterdicts anything in the manga, but I've only read so far. Don't worry, I'll be updating soon. REVIEW ME!! If Ducttape doesn't get any reviews, Ducttape isn't happy. And if Ducttape isn't happy, then Ducttape doesn't write. 


	2. Easier to Run

Disclaimer: Once again here is the part where I tell you that I don't own any of these characters they belong to their creators. *sigh* I sure wish I did though…*tear* you know what would make me really sad? Is if you guys didn't review. But you know what would make me even sadder? If you did review and wrote horrible things about my writing, so no flames please *sob* *hiccup* I'm doing the best I can here! *frantically types* must……..finish……….story…….

Lina and Magical Fish-Arigato for reviewing, *sniff* I feel so loved. 

Btw: I'm kinda emotional right now…; I bet u can guess why, so if the story gets too sappy lemme know k? DOMO ARIGATO! 

Once again, ~*~*~*=change of scene

**Easier to Run**

**It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone**

**Something has been taken  
From deep inside of me  
A secret I've kept locked away  
No one can ever see  
Wounds so deep they never show  
They never go away  
Like moving pictures in my head  
For years and years they've played**

**If I could change I would  
Take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could  
Stand up and take the blame I would  
If I could take all the shame to the grave I  
Would**

**Sometimes I remember  
The darkness of my past  
Bringing back these memories  
I wish I didn't have  
Sometimes I think of letting go  
And never looking back  
And never moving forward so  
There would never be a past**

**Just washing it aside  
All of the helplessness inside  
Pretending I don't feel misplaced  
Is so much simpler than change**

**It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone**

Dee hobbled frantically out the station on his crutches. He had to get away. After Ryo had caught him with the detectives, he quickly grabbed the crutches and made like a bat out of hell out of there…well as close as he could get, what with being on crutches and all. Now, he had a feeling that Ryo was going to follow him, Olivia would hold him off for a short time, but he would eventually get past her and come after him. He needed to get away from him. He would not be some stray Ryo took in, he wouldn't! Dee could feel the tears slowly coming to his eyes already. If Ryo hadn't loved him before this than he never would, it shouldn't take a rape to make him realize his feelings. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*

            As soon as Dee had rushed out of the room, Ryo had made a move to grab him, but the female detective held him back. 

            "Detective MacLean…Dee needs time to be alone right now…why don't you and I sit and talk about what just happened here." She said softly to him. 

            Ryo nodded and sat down across from her and the male detective, in the exact seat that Dee had been sitting in not moments before. The female detective smiled and took the seat across from him, while the male detective stayed standing behind his partner. 

            "Hi, I'm Olivia and this is my partner Elliot. I knew Dee a long time ago…we went the Academy together." She said quietly. 

            Ryo cleared his throat loudly. "So can you please tell me what's going on?" 

            Olivia smiled gently. "Of course, it's your right to know after all. Do you remember the night when Dee was over and J.J. stopped by to give you some files?"

            He nodded his head. He was beginning to wonder where all this was leading to. Olivia continued talking. 

            "Well, that night after you kicked Dee and J.J. out of your house, a serial rapist that Elliot and I have been investigating for some time now was in your neighborhood. As Dee was walking home she got a hold of him and worked him over pretty good. He couldn't fight back because he was upset and he had forgotten his gun at your place." As soon as she said this, Ryo's face when ghostly white and he looked like he was going to faint, but he stayed sitting and nodded at her to continue.

            "The next morning a 5 year old girl and her mother were taking out the garbage and found Dee dumped in an alley way and called the police. You're probably wondering why you're just being informed of this now." She raised her eyebrows in brown-haired man's direction. Once again he nodded and she continued on with her story. 

            "Dee told us everything Randy…about how he's been chasing after you and about how you have a habit of taking in strays, as he put it. He was scared that if you found out about what happened to him, you would confess your love to him and offer him a place, just because you felt sorry for him, that's why he made up that whole story about tripping and falling down a flight of stairs. He wants you to tell him that you love him, because you really do love him, not just because you feel sorry for him…do you see where I'm going with this?" she asked him gently. 

            Again he nodded, but this time he spoke. "I have to go find him and make sure he's ok." Ryo stood up and started to walk out.

            Olivia nodded. "Alright Randy, just don't do anything that you'll regret ok?" 

            Ryo just barely caught what she was saying; he was already halfway out the door. He ran as fast as he could out of the station, hoping that he could catch Dee before he got too far. He ran out onto the sidewalk and looked down the street both ways, he could just make out a figure to his right waiting for a light to change so he could cross the street. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	3. I'll Always Be Right There

Disclamer: Sorry I don't own FAKE, I sure wish I did though…*sigh* ok to all of my adoring fans: I've been going through a super hard time right now and haven't had time to write, so if this gets too angsty just tell me. Anyway back to my disclaimer, I don't own FAKE, it belongs to Sanami Matoh, its manga-ka, all these thoughts are my own, and if you don't like them well then don't read them. Please, please, please review, no flames though please, just constructive critisism. Ok I just wanted to say that I love FAKE, and I hope you all love it as much as I do.

Btw…. ~*~*~= somone else's point of view 

****

**I'll Always Be Right There**

**By Magical Duct Tape Angel**

**When you're all alone,  
and you need a light,  
someone to guide you through the night,  
just remember that I am here,  
to hold you close and dry your tears.**

Ryo ran as fast as he could towards the figure that was just hobbling across the crosswalk. "Dee!" He called out to his partner. Why wasn't Dee stopping? In fact by the looks of it he was trying to speed up. Ryo continued to run and try and catch up with him, bumping lightly into people along the way. Several times he almost lost his jacket, but he managed to hold on to it. The wind swept through his honey colored hair as he sprinted towards his best friend. I can't lose him, was the only thought in his mind. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**And just when you thought you were falling,  
but you know I'll always be right there.   
  
When you're all alone,  
and you need a friend,  
someone to help you to the end,  
when you need someone to catch you when you fall,  
I'll be there through it all.   
  
**

Dee ran away as best as he could, it wasn't like him to run away from anything, but when it came to Ryo, he felt like a totally different person. He was almost away! He was waiting for the light to change so he could cross the street. Then he heard Ryo call out to him. "Oh shit! Get moving Laytner, or your gonna have to explain to him why you lied to him and what happened." He thought. The light finally changed and he was able to hobble across the street. He made it across the street and kept going, turning a corner. Hopefully by now Ryo had given up and was heading home. He moved into a dark alley and sat down just inside of it, throwing his crutches down and hoping that Ryo wouldn't find him here.

He looked around the alley he was sitting in…it looked a lot like the one where he had been found. He had been back to the alley where he had been found many times. He could almost see himself, bloody and bruised laying amongst the trash bags waiting to be taken to the landfill. 

            Dee quickly closed his eyes, trying to shake the image from his head. No! He wouldn't think about it. His eyes were still closed when a soft voice said from the entrance to the alley, "Dee."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Cause just when you thought you were losing,  
but you know I'll always be right there. **

Ryo saw him slide into the alleyway just as he rounded the corner. He slowed to a walk and stopped right outside the alleyway and looked in. He saw Dee sitting just inside, his eyes tightly shut as if he were trying to erase something from his memory. His heart just broke seeing Dee like this, covered in bruises and cuts and broken wrist and leg. He was hurt that Dee didn't trust him enough to tell him this, and hurt that he didn't trust him enough to think that he would just be another stray that he took in. He stepped closer to the entrance to the alley and quietly said, "Dee."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**  
And I'll be there through the good times,  
and the bad,  
and we'll be there for each other,  
cause you're the best friend I've ever had.   
  
**

Dee quickly looked up at the person who he had been avoiding for so long, looking like a deer caught in the headlights again. He quickly cleared his throat. "Hey Ryo."

            "Dee…Olivia told me everything." Ryo sat down and moved closer to where Dee was sitting. 

            Dee quickly moved his head away from the other man so Ryo wouldn't see the hurt and shame that was so evident on his face. 

            Ryo laid a hand on the dark haired man's shoulder. "Dee, she also told me why you didn't want to tell me. I would never do that to you." He paused then decided to go on. "Can I tell you something, Dee? Do you promise to believe me? I realize that, what with all that has happened, you won't believe me, but what I'm about to tell you is the truth. Do you swear it Dee?" Ryo gripped the other detective's shoulder tightly. Dee swiveled his head around and looked into Ryo's eyes. All he saw was warmth and compassion. He nodded.

            "The night that it happened…the night that J.J. came over with those files…I was going to tell you something very important, and just as I was about to tell you, the doorbell rang. Dee…" Ryo gently pushed a lock of hair out of his partner's eyes. "I was going to tell you that I love you and that I can't live without you and when J.J. rang that doorbell it made me so angry. Then when he started hanging all over you, I thought it was a sign that maybe you and I shouldn't be together. I realize I was wrong Dee, this has been a sign in its own way too. I love you and I want to make love with you and be with you forever…that is…if you'll have me." Dee looked intently at his partner. Ryo suddenly looked anxious, as if Dee wouldn't accept the love he was giving. When he saw that look, Dee broke down and began to weep. Ryo pulled him into a tight hug, Dee's head laying on Ryo's chest. 

            "Are you sure Ryo? I mean…I'm contaminated now and well…maybe we shouldn't be together. I don't want to expose you to me, I'm filthy." Dee said in between his sobs.

            'Dee!" Ryo smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "Don't you ever think that. Just because some bitch pulled you off the street and decided to attack you doesn't make you filthy. It makes you even more special, because you managed to survive it. I love you Dee, don't you ever think that I wouldn't want to be with you." 

            Dee quickly tried his tears and attempted a feeble smile. "I love you too Ryo." That was all that needed to be said. The two men just sat there for a few minutes, holding each other. Finally, Dee pulled away and smiled at his partner. "Ryo…you think you could help me up and maybe give me a ride to the orphanage…I've been staying with Penguin and if I don't get back soon she'll send the cops out for me." Dee gave a quiet chuckle. 

            "Sure, Dee." Ryo got up off the ground, brushed the dirt off of his pants and went over to get the crutches that Dee had laid on the ground. He leaned the crutches against the wall and grabbed the dark haired man's hand and pulled him to his feet. He pulled him up and grasped him in a tight hug. 

            "Ryo…are you sure about this? I don't want there to be any regrets for you." Dee said into his partner's shirt. 

            "Dee…I love you. Please, don't doubt me. Come on, I'll walk you back to the orphanage…unless…you wanna come stay with me for awhile." Ryo said uncomfortably, for fear that Dee wouldn't say yes. 

            "Ryo…are you sure? Bikky doesn't like me, you and I both know that. That and there's not another bed. I mean, I'd love to but I dunno, do you think its wise what with Bikky and well….us just starting out?" Dee said just as uncomfortably. He couldn't believe this was happening, it was a dream come true for him, but he didn't want Ryo to have any regrets. 

            "Don't worry Dee, we'll figure something out. But you'll come and stay with me?" Ryo said desperately. 

            Dee laughed. "Well, Mother won't like me leaving but, yeah I will."

            The honey-colored man sighed in relief. "Come on then, lets go get your things packed." 

**And just when you thought you were falling,  
but you know I'll always be right there.  
oh-oooh whenever you need me,  
I'll always be right there.**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sorry I know its short but the next chapter I feel is gonna be a long one. Its gonna be the one where Ryo finally finds out everything about Dee's past so its gonna be a goody ~_^


	4. Waiting

Hey everyone, it's me again—your good old faithful Duct tape once again writing another chapter as to please her fans. Well, I'm more writing this for my benefit, not yours, but if you have ideas then feel free to share them with me and tell me what you think I should put in chapters to come. I'm not sure how long this'll end up being, there are so many ideas I want to put in here, so for now I'm just takin it day by day. Ok now this is where I tell you that I don't own FAKE, nor any of the other characters in this story…unless I created them. Then they're mine ALL MINE! MOO HOO HA HA HA! Ok sorry, here you go. Chapter 4.

**Waiting**

**By Magical Duct Tape Angel**

**I've been**

**Waiting a long time for this**

**Moment to come I'm destined**

**For anything at all**

**Downtown**

**Lights will be shining**

**On me**

**Like a new diamond ring out**

**Under the midnight hour**

**Well no one**

**Can touch me now**

**And I can't turn my back it's to late**

**Ready or not at all**

Dee lay stretched out next to Ryo on the bed. He looked over to make sure the other man was still sleeping. When he saw that he was, he sat up in bed, wondering if he should move to the couch. The next time he had a nightmare, he had a feeling that it would wake Ryo up, and then there would be questions that would have to be answered. But then again if he moved to the couch there would be questions too…so he settled halfway and moved onto the floor beside the bed, he could just say that he fell out of bed and also this way if he had a nightmare it would be harder for Ryo to hear. He lay in bed and stared at the ceiling, ever since "The Incident" as he still called it, he had been having horrible nightmares about his childhood. He kept hearing the man grunting and moaning behind him. It haunted him in his every step. He had stopped eating and had quit sleeping, and when he did sleep he had horrendous nightmares. Ryo was starting to get worried about him; he would have to tell him soon.

He dozed off about 5 a.m., 6 hours after he had first fallen asleep and 4 hours after he had woken up. The nightmare started all over again. He was 15 again and he was staring down into the gaping black hole that was Jess's grave. He saw the coffin being lowered into the hole and dirt being piled on top of it. He could hear footsteps coming closer to him, he turned around expecting to see mother, and it wasn't. It was a giant ball of blinding white light that gave off an intense heat. The light was speaking to him. "Come on kid, I have some pictures of Jess and some of his things you might like." He followed it; even though he knew that he shouldn't…Mother would be waiting for him. He followed it anyway. All of a sudden, when they got to their destination, the ball of white light completely enveloped him in a ball of heat and pain. He was screaming. "Please, please just let me go! Just give me the pictures and let me go home! I want to go home!"

Dee woke with a start, large brown eyes looking deeply into his, filled with curiosity, concern. "Dee are you alright? I woke up and you were screaming in your sleep…" Ryo carefully laid his cool hand on Dee's forehead. "Dee, your burning up, come back into bed…your sick. You shouldn't be on the floor."

Dee shook the sweat from his eyes and hair and climbed into the bed next to Ryo. Ryo slid over to him and wrapped him in a warm comforting hug. Dee laid his head against Ryo's chest and closed his eyes. "Um…Dee…can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Baby." Dee tried to sound calm, but he was still shaking and pale.

"You were screaming in your sleep…something about giving you pictures and letting you go home…did you know the person that did this to you? Was she going to give you something?"

Dee gulped. "No…Ryo…" Dee looked up into his partner's eyes. He was scared, he didn't want Ryo to find out about his past…but maybe this was the time. Maybe he should tell him. He took a deep breath and moved on. "Baby, I have some bad things in my past that I never told you, I promise, I will tell you, but for now can I just sleep, I don't feel so well." He laid his head back against Ryo's chest and closed his eyes.

"Sure, Dee, take as long as you want." Ryo said comfortingly and closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

**Well I'm so much closer than**

**I have ever known**

**Wake up**

**Dawning of a new era**

**Calling**

**Don't let it catch you falling**

**Ready or not at all**

**Oh so close**

**Enough to taste it**

**Almost**

**I can embrace this feeling**

**On the tip of my tongue**

Ryo awoke about an hour after he finally dozed off, still holding Dee. "God, he's burning up with fever." He thought as he laid his hand on Dee's forehead. He slid out from Dee's embrace and quietly padded into the bathroom. He opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a thermometer, then quietly walked back into the bedroom. Dee was still lying on the bed, but he was on his back now. Ryo sat down next to him and gently shook him awake. Dee groaned and rolled over.

"Dee, come on, I need to take your temperature." He said in quiet exasperation. Dee rolled over and faced Ryo, and the light haired man noticed that his eyes looked different. Instead of the usual piercing green it was a glassy dull green, like the calm before the storm. Ryo knew he was ill if his eyes didn't look the same.

Ryo carefully slid the thermometer into is mouth and under his tongue. When 5 minutes had passed he took it out and looked at it. He almost dropped the thermometer in shock. "Oh my God, Dee!" He stared at it with wide eyes. "You have a 105 degree fever!"

Dee sat up sleepily and looked at him and said, "Ryo…I think I'm gonna to be sick." Then climbed up out of the bed and onto unsteady feet. Ryo helped him into the bathroom where Dee feel next to the toilet and began vomiting. He was there for so long that after awhile there was nothing left to throw up and he was just dry retching. By this time Ryo was worried.

"Dee, come on, you need to take a cold shower…maybe that will help bring the fever down." Ryo kneeled down next to the dark haired man and began to pull off his shirt. As soon as his shirt was off Dee leaned his head against Ryo's collar bone and closed his eyes. Dee usually slept in boxers and an undershirt, but lately he had taken to sleeping in a pair of loose scrubs and a tee shirt. Ryo reached down and gently tugged on the strings of the scrubs and pulled them off until Dee was leaning against him wearing nothing but boxers. He grabbed Dee by the waist and gently tugged him up into a standing position then led him over to the shower and pushed him in the shower where the green-eyed man automatically sat down on the shower floor. Ryo quickly went and turned on the cold water.

As soon as the cold water hit his bare skin Dee began to shiver uncontrollably. He looked up at Ryo pitifully and began to sob. He wrapped his arms around him in order to gain some body warmth and managed to choke out, "God, Ryo…I'm so cold. So cold…"

Ryo was really worried about him. Dee would never cry in front of people, he must be really ill. Ryo quickly stripped down to his boxers and climbed in the shower with Dee. He wrapped him up in a warm hug but forced him to stay under the steady stream of water. Dee was still shaking uncontrollably, but he had managed to stop crying. "Ryo…I'm so cold…so cold."

"I know Dee, but this might bring your fever down." Ryo replied. Finally, after fifteen minutes of sitting under a steady stream of ice water, Ryo pulled Dee out of the shower and dried them both. He quickly grabbed some new dry clothes for both him and Dee. He himself put on dry clothes first then bent down and gently touched Dee's shoulder.

"Dee…come on, get dressed, I'm taking you to the hospital." He said briskly. Dee stood up, turned around and yanked down his boxers and pulled on a new pair. Then pulled on a pair of scrubs and a tee shirt. Ryo helped him hobble into the bedroom. Dee sat on the bed and reached for the dresser with his clothes in it which was close by. He opened the drawer and pulled out a wool sweater and started to tug it on with some difficulty because of his wrist. Ryo grabbed the sweater away from him.

"No Dee, your already burning up with fever, your going to kill yourself if you put that on." Ryo said fiercely.

"But Ryo…I'm so cold…please?" He said pleadingly.

"No Dee, now let's go." Ryo walked briskly over to the right side of the bed and grabbed the dark haired man's crutches. "Can you walk with these or should I help you?" Dee groaned.

"Ryo you're overreacting. I'm fine." He said trying to stand up on one leg and swaying a bit from dizziness.

"Dee, your about ready to faint, I'm not overreacting, now you either use these or I drag you down to the car, it's your decision."

Dee sighed. "Fine…I'll use the crutches." Ryo handed the crutches to his friend and they both walked out into the living room. Dee sat down on the couch and began to tug on a pair of shoes. Ryo walked into the kitchen and scribbled a quick note to Bikky, then sat down next to Dee and tugged on his shoes. They both walked out the door and got into the elevator. They rode the elevator all the way down to the first floor in complete silence.

When they got to the car, Dee climbed in the passenger seat and Ryo took Dee's crutches and put them in the back seat then climbed into the driver's seat. As soon as they were in the car and completely buckled in, Dee turned the radio on to his favorite station and turned in on soft. Then he leaned back and rested his head against the head rest and fell asleep. In his sleep he muttered things fitfully under his breath. Ryo moved slowly so as not to wake up the man in the passenger seat, he quietly turned the radio off so he could hear everything he was saying in his sleep.

"No… get off me…the pictures…just gimme the pictures…no I won't tell anyone…I promise…someone…help me…please, just let me go, I just wanna go home."

Ryo listened to different variations of this until they reached the emergency room parking lot. As soon as they pulled into the lot, Dee started calling his dream attacker by a name. "Please Mike…I won't tell Mother…I swear I won't….Just lemme go home…"

Ryo took in a sharp intake of breath. He had been told that Dee's attack was a woman...maybe it had been a lie, maybe he had be raped by a man and he was too embarassed to tell anyone. Ryo pulled into a space close to the door and then reached over and gently shook Dee awake. "Dee, we're here." Dee jolted awake and sat up straight. Ryo got out of the car and opened up the back door and grabbed the crutches. He walked over to the passenger side and helped Dee out then handed him the crutches.

Dee let the crutches fall to the ground, grabbed Ryo in a fierce hug and fell back to lean against the car. He leaned his forehead against the hollow in Ryo's neck and sighed. "Dee…please go in…for me?" Ryo asked him pleadingly. Dee sighed again and let the other man go. Ryo bent down and picked up the crutches and handed them back to Dee. Together they walked into the emergency room.

**Well I'm so much closer than**

**I have ever known**

**Wake up**

**Better thank your lucky stars**

**(hey hey hey)**

Ryo sat in one of those hard hospital waiting room chairs with Penguin sitting next to him holding his hand. It'd been a stressful night. First, the hospital wouldn't let him go with Dee because they were in no way related. He had had a mental breakdown in the middle of everything. He was just so damned worried about him. He had wanted to go back with him so badly to make sure that they were taking care of him, but they hadn't let him. He had called Mother, sobbing asking her to come down to the hospital, that Dee had been admitted and they wouldn't let him go back with him. Mother had come down as soon as possible and they had let her go back, and she had finally convinced them that Ryo was fine to go back with her, he was just worried about his friend.

Ryo had almost gotten sick when he saw Dee, his friend's skin had gone pale and they had given him drugs to sleep and he was hooked up to a heart monitor. They also were taking blood from him every 15 minutes and kept pumping his system full of antibiotics. They still didn't know what was wrong with him…but Ryo had a feeling it wasn't good. Then they had kicked both Ryo and Mother out of the room and here they were, Mother holding his hand comfortingly and him practically shaking with fear for his friend.

Ryo slowly turned to the older woman sitting next to him and said, "Mother…do you think he'll be ok?"

"Oh Randy…I'm sure he'll be fine. That boy has only been sick twice in his life, not including this time. He'll bounce right back."

"Mother, Dee's been having these really bad dreams, I wake up in the middle of the night and hear him screaming and thrashing around, at first I thought it was because of what that woman did to him, but now I'm not so sure."

"What makes you say that my son?" Penguin said, concerned.

"Well on the ride over he was having one of those dreams, and I turned the radio down to listen to what he was saying and he was telling a guy named Mike to get off of him…that he only wanted some pictures, do you know anything?" Ryo asked despretely.

Mother's brow furrowed as she thought. All of a sudden she got up abruptly. "I need to go speak with the doctors." She said briskly.

**Well I'm so much closer than**

**I have ever known**

**Wake up**

**Better thank your lucky stars**

**(hey hey hey)**

**I've been**

**Waiting a lifetime for this**

**Moment to come**

**I'm destined for anything at all**

It was the evening and Ryo was still sitting in the same chair. He had dozed off sometime during the day and then awoke to a loud voice over the speaker. Mother still hadn't returned and he was worried that he'd said something he shouldn't have. He had flipped through a magazine and then read part of a book during the day, but mostly he just sat and looked at the people. He was doing just this when Mother came running in crying her eyes out. She threw herself onto Ryo and began weeping.

"Mother….whats wrong? Is it Dee?" Ryo asked worriedly. When she nodded yes, he could almost feel his heart stop. "Oh God…Whats wrong with him!" He said, almost breaking down with worry. When she heard his voice the second time, she quickly regained his composure.

"He's fine Ryo…he's awake, he had surgery to fix his leg and he's going to need physical therapy and he's going to need to see a psychiatrist, but other than that he should be fine."

"Can I go see him mother?" Ryo asked her. She nodded.

"Yes Randy…just be very quiet." She said. She sat down in one of the hard blue hospital waiting room chairs and put her head in her hands.

**Dumbstruck**

**Color me stupid**

**Good luck**

**You're gonna need it**

**Where I'm going if I get there at all**

Dee awoke to bright lights, a hard bed and a gnawing sickness in his stomach. The last thing he remembered was having to walk down the bright white aneseptic smelling hospital hallway alone. They had told Ryo he couldn't come back with him. Then they had hooked him up to a heart machine then stuck a needle in is arm and he'd felt exhausted. He quickly had fallen into a dreamless sleep.

He slowly opened his eyes and Mother's face swam into view. He choked back a sob. "Mother…" he said in a childlike manner. She grabbed him and hugged him while he sobbed into her habit.

She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. "Dee…I have a question for you. Randy told me that he heard you yelling at a man named Mike to get off you and just give you Jess's things, did he rape you?" She asked very straightforwardly.

Dee blushed furiously…he had never meant for Mother to find out. Now that she somewhat knew, he saw no reason to keep it from her. Still blushing, he nodded and turned his head away. She grabbed him a huge hug. "Oh my son…why didn't you tell me?"

"He told me he would kill you and blow up the orphanage…since he was a cop I figured he could do it, but when I became a cop I realized that he couldn't, and I didn't see any point in telling anyone since it had happened so long ago." He said.

"I see…well I'm just glad that you finally told me. I'm going to go out and talk to Randy." She said with one final hug.

"Alright Mother…do you think they'll let Ryo in to see me?" He asked her.

"Oh I'm sure they will, he's already been in here visiting you. He called me down here, he was frantic when they wouldn't let him back here with you. So I came down and gave them a piece of my mind and they let him back here. I'll go out and get him."

"Thanks Mother." He replied with a smile, imagining Mother yelling at a bunch of hospital orderlies and doctors.

"No problem Dee…just remember, I won't ever let anything happen to you, neither will Ryo, never be afraid to tell us anything."

Dee gave a small laugh. "Sure Mother, never again."

**Wake up**

**Better thank your lucky stars**

"Dee!" Ryo came into the slightly darkened room with an anxious whisper. He ran up to the bed and grabbed Dee's hand. "Oh God…I was so worried about you." He looked about ready to cry and Dee squeezed his hand and scooted over a bit on the bed.

"Sit with me Ryo."

"Are you sure its ok Dee? I don't want to upset anything…"

"Ryo, just sit with me please?" Ryo sat down next to him on the bed, then stretched out, laying down on his side next to him. Dee laid his head in the hollow of his neck and gently nuzzled there. Ryo gently wrapped his arms around the other man and pulled him in closer. He still had a bit of a fever and was warm, but his eyes were clear. Dee looked up at his best friend and gently pressed his lips against his. Ever since that woman had done that thing to him, he'd been hesitant to try anything with Ryo. He was scared, he admitted that, but right now, he needed the comfort that his strong sensible Ryo provided. He gently parted his lips, inviting Ryo in further. If they were going to be in a relationship, Dee had to take the initiative sometimes. Ryo gently slid his tongue in Dee's mouth and swirled it gently around inside. Then, he pulled his tongue out and pulled away. He leaned down and began to whisper in Dee's ear.

"Dee……are you sure this isn't moving too fast for you…your still sick after all…maybe I should just go home…" Ryo said compassion and hesitation.

"Ryo just shut up and kiss me again." Dee said as he leaned in for another kiss. Ryo was only too happy to oblige.


End file.
